Sunday, January 10, 2010
Monday, January 4, 2010
A ridiculous waste of time. Seriously.
I really want to hate you Facebook, hate you something fierce. I don't even care about these people. At first I hoped it was a phase, but I just can't quit.
Make it stop mama. Damn you FB. Damn you.
You loooove WiFi on airplanes!?! Oh yeah, another picture of your car!?! You want me to play Farmville with you!?! That wacky site said your personality most resembles BooBoo Kitty on the Laverne & Shirley quiz!?!
L-O-L, man. Hah. Got it. Who. Cares. Honestly? Who?
Well... I must? Because I keep reading. At stoplights. In traffic. Waiting in line for a burrito. During conference calls. Late at night in bed after she falls asleep. At the cigar shop. During Two and a Half Men and Family Guy. At the gym. While playing poker. On the toile- t?
Wait, what. Please don't even pretend you're not surfing FB from the bathroom? Aside from my $3 electronic Yahtzee game, there is no better way to pass the time. For some strange reason, my witty anecdotes seem even more amusing when sent from the linoleum-clad fortress of solitute. Scrolling through your 6th grade BFF's vacation photos (you know, the 'friend' you haven't had an actual conversation with since Chevy Chase was funny), doesn't feel nearly as creepy as it should, especially considering that fact you're locked in a tiny room, tapping your right foot to keep your leg from falling alseep, with your pants around your ankles?
Come to think of it, the defecation station is the perfect place to visit FB. It's like the Bermuda Triangle once that door closes, everybody already assumes you're in there doing something putrid and disgusting?
They couldn't be more right.
Make it stop mama. Damn you FB. Damn you.
You loooove WiFi on airplanes!?! Oh yeah, another picture of your car!?! You want me to play Farmville with you!?! That wacky site said your personality most resembles BooBoo Kitty on the Laverne & Shirley quiz!?!
L-O-L, man. Hah. Got it. Who. Cares. Honestly? Who?
Well... I must? Because I keep reading. At stoplights. In traffic. Waiting in line for a burrito. During conference calls. Late at night in bed after she falls asleep. At the cigar shop. During Two and a Half Men and Family Guy. At the gym. While playing poker. On the toile- t?
Wait, what. Please don't even pretend you're not surfing FB from the bathroom? Aside from my $3 electronic Yahtzee game, there is no better way to pass the time. For some strange reason, my witty anecdotes seem even more amusing when sent from the linoleum-clad fortress of solitute. Scrolling through your 6th grade BFF's vacation photos (you know, the 'friend' you haven't had an actual conversation with since Chevy Chase was funny), doesn't feel nearly as creepy as it should, especially considering that fact you're locked in a tiny room, tapping your right foot to keep your leg from falling alseep, with your pants around your ankles?
Come to think of it, the defecation station is the perfect place to visit FB. It's like the Bermuda Triangle once that door closes, everybody already assumes you're in there doing something putrid and disgusting?
They couldn't be more right.
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